He’s a self proclaimed super hero out to save our supposedly dying planet (and, of course, the Squirrels). Because he doesn’t have the resources to save the planet or the Squirrels on his own (even though he was arrested in 2008 for throwing money in the street), he made the unfortunate decision to draft the Discovery Channel to his aid by use of force.

As I write this, it is reported that he was shot dead after taking hostages at the Discover Channel headquarters (yes, we link to Fox because any villain worthy of the title reads Fox News) demanding they help him save the planet by making changes to their programming. The hostages are all safe.

Even though his website now appears to be down, Google cached a version of The Green Shadow’s online manifesto online manifesto at savetheplanetprotest.com earlier today.

RLSVs (and specifically the World Super Villain Network) do not condone these type of RLSH gone vigilante activities. Again, we do not believe in holding people hostage to save the planet or, of course, the Squirrels.

We hope to have an interview with at least one of The Green Shadow’s two most hated enemies, either The Landfiller or Squirrel Slayer, posted soon so be sure to check back for updates.

Master Legend, for those of you who don’t know, is a bit of a poster child for the RLSH movement. Rolling Stone magazine had a large write up about him and a few of his sidekicks last December.

As per this video, he isn’t a big fan of the evil homeless and crippled kids. Lots of people aren’t though. A number of people feel uncomfortable around those who suffer due to health issues or financial problems. What makes Master Legend different from regular folks is that he takes it to a whole new level. Oh, and he wears a costume.

What most people don’t realize is that they have super powers locked up inside themselves. It is little know ancient secret that humans are the strongest magnet in the universe. By using the laws of attraction, you can acquire anything you desire. To learn more about how to do this, you should use the sinister book of secrets called “The Secret”.

To scare of most adults, the book is printed on paper to look like a pirate’s treasure map. Being convinced that it is nonsense, most sane people will not touch it. But they are wrong to dismiss this book and it’s teachings.

I will give you the short and dirty version. Concentrate on what you want. Think about it long and hard. Visualize that it is yours. Eventually, all of your thoughts will manifest themselves into a cosmic UPS truck containing that for which you have dreamed. Because you now have at least this much information, I say to you this:

Do not purchase the book/movie/audio book/etc “The Secret” or any of its many related products. Instead, visualize that you own the book. Visualize that you are reading/watching it. If that fails, check your neighbors trash can. They sold millions and millions of copies of it with the help of Oprah but they put it in the hands of people far too ignorant to ever harness the power of its ancient wisdom.

Once you will yourself a copy of that book, move on to bigger things (like using your magnetic brain waves to conjure up some toxic waste to help give you super mutant strength). After a little practice, you should be able to will yourself the ability to shoot fire from your eyes or the ability to fly or whatever your super villain heart desires.

Let me us know how it goes.

Too many super villains are running around out there with no name. That was all fine and dandy until more RLSVs started joining co-ops and other underground online communities like this one. At first, we started referring to unknowns/unnamed as Unnamed Villain – Locale. That worked well for a while. We had to drop city names in favor of zip codes. Now there are a few zip code conflicts.

Do the Villain community a favor and find a name. Hell, if you prefer in corporate your locale’s name, zip, or area code… Become the Fiend of 402 or the Blackstone Brute. If you have bigger plans and don’t want your name to imply that you are bound to a zip code, consider using a name generator.

Seventh Sanctum’s Villain Name Generator is the best one out there…

It allows you to generate up to 20 names at a time and you can pick categories to help guide the randoms so they are more fitting. Seventh Sanctum also has some other great name generators if the villain one isn’t working out. Evil Namer and a few others. I can’t wait to hear from the likes of AngerTwist or Rottena or The Red Maggot or GalTaint.

A good generator that unfortunately only generates one name at a time is Stone Dragon Press’s Villain name generator.

Here are a few less useful villain name generators:
Lee’s Villain name generator
Rum and Monkey namegen 3132

I know it may seem extra evil to be the “The Unnamed One” but when there are hundreds of “The Unnamed One” it gets old. Also, the public/media needs your name to be the word they use to describe their fear. You really don’t want to leave it up to the idiots on the evening news to assign you a name, do you?

The cheapest and yet most effective back up disguise in the universe is known as the Mustachio. The Mustachio takes less time to apply than a Clark Kent to Superman in a phone booth conversion. You can easily do a quick change in case you are traveling to a location where detection could be an issue. I’ve often used The Mustachio to throw off superheroes who were chasing me through a crowd.

The Mustachio supplier I use is extremely discreet. We’ve never even spoken and I know he has never seen my face. He works purely in cash transactions and has actually set up multiple points around the world where I can quickly make a no hassle purchase if I find myself running short.

Sounds to good to be true, I know. But I haven’t even gotten to the best part… The ladies love the Mustachio. I’m not sure what it is but they do. Even super heroines love Mustachios. It is a well documented fact that 74% of all female RLSHs are so addicted to Mustachios that they lose composure to the point they often uncontrollably give up their secret identity (among other things).

If you do decide to regularly don the Mustachio disguise purely for the sake of its mind control over the ladies, consider having multiple Mustachios of various styles so you can still maintain their use as a secondary disguise. If your super villain identity is related to the Mustachio, the Mustachio may not work as a disguise. Instead try SansMustachio™.

In some cases, it makes you wonder if one could really be considered a hero considering what they stand for? Sure there is a group of people out there that fit certain categories that may need help, but is that a niche you wish to serve? Let me explain…

While studying our adversaries, I found a video made by one hero (Tothian) that contained a rallying speech made by another hero (Entomo). Apparently Entomo is also known as The Incest-Man. I suppose there must be a champion of everything, but even most super villains would shy away from that taboo. They at least wouldn’t make it their calling card.

Below is the video in question. Watch for second six.

Below is an unedited screen cap of the video.

Apparently this Incest-Man is considered a highly regarded member of the RLSH community. His base of operations is in Italy. We will provide more details on Entomo as time passes.

One of our goals here is to help our fellow RLSVs keep tabs on the whereabouts of our adversaries. By concerting our efforts, we can avoid wasting resources on failed plans or doing all the footwork individually. Check back often. Once our network is fully in place, we will have maps showing recent sightings for as many RLSHs as we can.

For the time being, they are tracking themselves for us.
World Super Hero Registry
Heroes Network
Real Life Superheroes [dot] Org
Many of the heroes can be found on multiple listings/registries. Heroes’ Network is probably the largest of the lists but the World Superhero Registry is more impressive because it doesn’t require you to run back and forth to MySpace.

The World SuperVillain Network is a place for Real Life SuperVillains to network, share information/resources, and work towards common goals. The site will contain a registry of super villains, reviews of gear and related products, recruit/purchase henchmen, and a place for super villains to sound off on topics important to them. People assume that villains can not join together because many villains are motivated by very different things. That is simply not true. While we have our differences, we obviously have common goals (like defeating the RLSHs).

If you are a super villain, I strongly suggest you let us know so we can get the process started of getting you added to our registry. Registered members will be able to post content (for the sake of boosting one’s fame/infamy) and receive access to content not otherwise made public. If you are an aspiring super villain, a henchman for hire or a supporter of villainy, there will still be plenty of useful information here for you.

In addition to world domination, my goal is to make this the #1 Real-Life Super Villain resource on the Internet. If you wear a black hat, you will not be disappointed.